Does Your Blended Family Feel Broken?

I have an unusual question for you.

Have you ever heard of the Japanese art of kintsugi?

Kintsugi is the practice of repairing broken pottery with gold or platinum. Instead of hiding cracks, the repair highlights them—honoring what has been broken while creating something entirely new.

I first learned about it while watching a show, and it stayed with me. Not long after, a client said something that brought it back to mind:

“As a stepfamily, we kind of keep it quiet that we’re blended. It feels like we’re a broken family—very different from regular families.”

While I understood what she meant, I felt a little sad to hear the word broken attached to her very sweet family.

Blending a family can feel like taking pieces from two different vases and trying to make them fit together. Some pieces still resemble their original shape. Others feel chipped, mismatched, or worn from what they’ve already been through.

Even when everything technically comes together, the result isn’t the original vase anymore.

It’s something new.

And yet, many blended families measure themselves against what they believe a “normal” family should look like.

When the comparison doesn’t hold up, the conclusion often becomes: We’re broken.

But what if that’s the wrong word? Let's try a different mindset...

Kintsugi doesn’t aim to recreate what once was. It acknowledges the break and builds forward from there. The cracks are filled with gold—not to pretend they never existed, but to make them part of the design.

Blended families have cracks. They have history. They carry loss, adjustment, and change. That’s not failure—that’s reality.

And often, the very places that feel like imperfections are the places where strength forms. Where patience grows. Where resilience takes root.

When the light hits a kintsugi piece, the gold catches it. What once looked like a flaw becomes one of the most striking features.

If your blended family feels fragile, unfinished, or uncertain right now, you’re not behind or broken. You’re not doing it wrong.

You may simply be in the middle of becoming something new.

That middle space—the place between what was and what will be—can feel uncomfortable and lonely. It’s also where intentional support, honest conversations, and a strong parenting partnership matter most.

You don’t need to hide your family’s story. You don’t need to force the pieces to fit perfectly.

You just need the right support as you build forward—together.

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Does this idea of making the mindshift from "broken" to "growing and bonding" resonate with you? If so, and you and your partner are curious about what the next steps for your family might look like, you can book a free 30-minute discovery call here.