Parenting...sometimes the struggles have NOTHING to do with the kids!
Jim says, "If she would just set the rules and stick with them, the kids would behave better."
To which Sue replies, "Me?! How about you stop nagging at everyone? The kids will get their
chores done eventually."
Parenting isn't easy, especially when each parent has a different parenting style! Each parent believes they are right, so what can we do to settle this conflict?
Going backwards to move forward...
"The only time we argue is when it's something about the kids." Jim and Sue are a great couple and their family is doing well except for the issue of disciplining the kids. So often, when parents are fighting "about the kids" the conflict isn't even about the kids, it's about their style of parenting.
Unfortuntely, kids don't come with instructions! As parents, especially first time parents, we rely on what we learned from our own parents. The challenge begins when we each believe that our way is the best way. When we then try to co-parent, things can get messy.
"Well, my parents raised me and I turned out fine!" Well, yes that's true, but your spouse feels the same way about his upbringing. The secret is to take the best practices from each of your childhoods and find a blend that works for your own children.