• Amy Ambrozich

Tired of Nagging? Try these 3 steps for success


"I'm so tired of nagging the kids, it's so bad I've become my mother!" How often do you find yourself hounding your kids to do the same thing over and over again? You

probably hate nagging just as much as your kids hate to hear it! What if you could use a different approach to getting your kids to change their behavior? Would it feel freeing to release the "nag" and use a more positive parenting technique? Let's take a look at how one of my client couples made the shift. Getting in the Gratitude Habit A couple I'm working with recently completed a 2-week experiment of adding more gratitude-based acknowledgments in their interactions with their kids. I assigned this activity as a part of their process to reduce nagging. We worked on something easy so they could begin to break the nagging habit and switch to an attitude of gratitude. The Target Behavior: Getting the kids to put their shoes in the shoe bin instead of leaving them in the hallway by the door. Step 1: Request We started with gentle requests. "Hey, could you please put your shoes in the bin?" Step 2: Remind We moved to just one word as a reminder, "Shoes." It's important to keep it to a single word to prevent yourself from getting into lecture mode. Step 3: Acknowledge Eventually, the kids remembered to put their shoes in the shoe bin by the door. Mom and Dad made a point of acknowledging it. "Hey, thanks for remembering! I like being able to walk in the door and not trip on shoes." Notice the formula: Appreciation + specific behavior + benefit I add the benefit so kids can learn their behavior choices have an effect on others as well as themselves. Note: I'm not saying we have to make a big, confetti-filled acknowledgment every time the kids do what they are supposed to...I am not a trophy-giving type of mom! LOL What I suggest is simply noticing and then saying "thanks" for doing what has been requested. When we take a minute to express our appreciation, it makes the other person feel good and they are more likely to repeat the behavior. Kids thrive on positive (sincere) feedback, it's like giving water to a plant to nurture it and help it grow. It may be simple but it works! My clients felt better from the reduced nagging and the shift towards a more positive interaction. Their kids were getting better about remembering to put their shoes away. Is it perfect every time? No! Changing habits takes time, but making the effort is so worth the rewards. Remember: REQUEST + REMIND + ACKNOWLEDGE Let me know if you need help with any of the steps above or with a "nagging" issue you have at home! PS...If you have a friend or family member who could use some positive parenting tips, please share this link so they can sign up for our community emails! http://my.daretoparent.com/newsletter


8 views